You know how you have moments in your life that make you realize that all the tests before hand were probably preparing you for THAT moment? One of those “Ah Ha!” That was why I had to learn that lesson before, otherwise I never would have understood this moment. The universe works in mysterious way to prepare us for all that is handed to us.
A few weeks ago someone’s outrageous lie had threatened to shake my mental state of calm. I am a firm believer of letting the owner of the mess deal with it, no matter how hard they try to fling their “Poo” on you…..it is a truly hard test to go through especially when you think that person has a different connection with you then how they are treating you. Yet I practiced my “mute” impression wisely and did not engage. Four years ago that would have been impossible…..I’m growing!!
Yet with growth comes pain and I would be a liar myself if I didn’t say it hurts very much to be so disposable. Yes, disposable……when you falsely accuse someone of something in order to save your own reputation and then ignore and lie about the situation in order to perpetuate your own dishonesty it says that, that person is disposable to you. Two years ago that would have crushed me……but today I KNOW I am worth more then that, I am NOT disposable and it is your loss and I pray one day you find balance, because it is obvious you don’t have that…….WOW! Still growing!!!
So how are these all connected? You see when this whole “situation” started I was feeling a struggle for my calm…..I was wanting to behave the way I used to and retaliate…….but my phone literally stopped me. On the other end was a true friend. One that was actually living a situation that is everyone’s worse nightmare…..Her Dad had gone missing…..if that isn’t a snap back to reality, nothing is. My friend was on a mission! She was bringing her Dad home….period. She was poised, balanced and ready for the task at hand. Her Love was giving her strength! Day in and day out, search after search. Her and her Mom never wavered with their positivity. At some point between beating down branches and hiking the same hill again it dawned on me…..my “Ah Ha” moment!!!
I don’t want to be surrounded by the people that start planning my funeral right away!!! I want to be surrounded by those that leave no stone unturned holding onto that last string of hope, believing in me, all well being realistic and just WANTING me recovered! I want people who value me and find it to hard to dispose of me because of that. I am proud to say that all the little lessons over the last few years have lead me right down that path…..otherwise I would never have seen how I was being treated or even remotely understood why my friend was able to have such strength in her situation. Alas he was not brought home the way we had all hoped, but he would’ve been DAMN proud of his family and there is no denying he would’ve felt their love with every step they took to bring him home!!
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